I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
