but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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