You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
FUCK WHALES
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
