This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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