8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
