I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize