Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
