i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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