i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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