how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
