No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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