its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
