i already hear my dad disowning me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
