She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My balls are so social today.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
