Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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