You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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