i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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