his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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