dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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