do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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