babies were throwing up all over the place
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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