the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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