Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
