So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In America we eat man semen.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize