found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
did you just send me my own nude
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
