So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
