so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
