You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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