My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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