tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She announced her abortion via fbk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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