was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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