i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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