thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
