Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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