the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
