dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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