I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize