he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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