i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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