I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
