that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
