She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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