making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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