He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
