You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
