his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
