it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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