Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
