you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize