Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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