New low: just hacked my moms facebook
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
