Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
NoShamevember. You game?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
