I hate your face
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
