DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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