garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
