Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am one with the molecules
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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