You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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