Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
