would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
